It happened. I had to send my second daughter off to school today. I put on a brave face for her so that she would go in thinking kindergarten is great, but on the inside I wanted her home with me. I remember being a little sad when LB started school, but not on the level that I am currently experiencing with C Bear. Couldn’t kindergarten be only three days and then I would have time with her? Couldn’t kindergarten share my daughter with me? Isn’t she supposed to be learning sharing? She was super excited, and I’m glad. I would hate for her to not like kindergarten. When I picked her up today, she seemed to like it and had fun, after all she got a smiley face on her hand made with a smelly marker. She did ask how long she had to go. My heart jumped a little that maybe she wanted me, but I think she just wanted to know her new schedule. When I told her five days a week she said, “ok,” like it was no big deal.

While C Bear was off coloring, playing, and learning, I was at home alone and a little sad. So I went to Target (cause that’s what you do when you’re sad and want to go somewhere) and bought diapers and rainbow chip cookies to make life just a little bit better for just a little bit, and so that Little N has some diapers. This feeling of sadness started about a week ago.

The week leading up to kindergarten was a week of lasts. On Monday when I picked her up from preschool, they gave me her rest mat. She wouldn’t need it anymore because she was going to be a kindergartner. I about lost it at preschool. This was overwhelmingly sad. I even made a comment about it to one teacher, and she agreed. Her son was also starting kindergarten. Then on Tuesday she had her last morning swim lesson. We have been going to swim lessons on Tuesday morning for three years, but with her older sister already doing night swim lessons, and C Bear starting school it didn’t make sense to just have Little N. So we all go on Thursday evenings now. Much better for me, but still a little sad.

Now with LB and C Bear in school it will just be me and Little N on Tuesdays and Thursdays (I work part-time). I’m curious to see how it goes. I haven’t had just one child at home since LB was 21 months old. Who knows, I could change my mind and have another baby (not really, at least I don’t think so).